There Will be Blood

Oh sweet Jesus.

I don't think I've been this pissed off... ever.

Right now, I should be at the Download Festival. Working, earning money, generally having fun.
But no. Apparently not.

I got up at eight this morning, had breakfast, made sure I had everything packed etc. and decided to play with my dog Phoebe. Which is pretty much normal, it's not like I suddenly decided to play see how any times I can kick my dog in the face... So I have no idea why she behaved like she did.

Basically, she had hold of one end of the toy sheep, I had the other, and suddenly she jumped up and bit my right index finger. Then as she landed, she didn't let go, and pretty much ripped off half the skin.
I haven't cried because of a physical injury in a long time, normally I just swear violently until it subsides. But this hurt so much I couldn't help it. Obviously I did it in a cool, hard way. It's not like I'm an utter pansy or anything.

After about five minutes it started bleeding at an alarming rate. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but my medical knowledge regarding gushing wounds is basically shove it under a tap until it stops and then maybe put a plaster on it. So I held my hand under a cold tap (not improving the pain) for about five minutes. But there was virtually no change so I grabbed a bit of tissue and wrapped it tightly around my finger and wandered around (still cursing) with my arm in the air for maybe fifteen minutes.

The first tissue lasted about ten seconds before it was completely covered in blood, and I got through maybe six before I started panicking slightly. Eventually I told my Step mum, who did that annoying 'Ohh, that looks nasty, run it under a tap for a bit and it will stop'. Obviously I'm not a total retard, so obviously I already tried that you IDIOT.

She finally (after about another half our of me almost bleeding all over her precious kitchen floor) agreed to take me to the doctors. Unfortunately when we got there he took one look at it and told us to go to the hospital. Oh, I'm such a  nuisance aren't I? By this point I was actually pretty worried. It had been maybe a  couple of hours since Phoebe bit me, and the bleeding was still showing no signs of stopping.

When we got there, I ran to the loos to get more tissues and she went to the reception. I had to answer some questions before they sent me to the 'minor injuries' department. Which was extremely annoying. And thanks to our fabulous free healthcare I had to sit in the waiting room for two and a half hours until I was called through. By this time, I was feeling a bit light-headed, although the bleeding had slowed, it was still fairly steady. The Doctor I got was a also profoundly irritating, I generally got the vibe that he was just bored and that I was wasting his time. I sat down on the plastic covered, metal framed hospital bed while he asked me what happened, how long ago and if I'd bothered to disinfect it. Well of course, because every average household contains animal disinfectant just incase one shreds off half the skin on your finger. A common injury, I'm sure.

Once I took off the tissues, he started paying more attention. 'Oh my, that is quite deep' Yes Mr Doctor man, very good, I can see you are highly qualified in this field. He said I didn't need stitches, so after he'd cleaned it up and disinfected it (which stung like a bitch by the way) he poured on this gluey clear stuff which he said would help it heal. He said I might have slight scarring, but I might get away with it. Then he wrapped it up in some nice bandages and sent me on my way. The Lady at the reception gave me some more gluey stuff to take home and said if the bleeding didn't stop in twenty four hours I should come back.

That's right, I'd have to bleeding constantly for a whole freaking day if I want another bandage.

By the time I got back home it was nearly six, and far too late to set off for Derby. Also, since I would have to work the whole three days with no excuse, it's definitely in the pipe-dream now.

I have never more wanted to slap a dog.