Things I 'Dislike'

The term 'dislike' is rather hilarious, as most of things on this list fill me with a blinding rage. Some of these things I could rant on and on about for hours, probably followed by an act of extreme violence. However, I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

1. Miley Cyrus. This. I really. Cannot. Stand. I could burn her. Me and a freind L discussed effective ways of tourture and eventual death. He had a rather nice one of sharpening her CD's and then cramming them down her throat. In my book, the only people I can forgive for liking her are 10 year olds. The rest of you, open your fucking eyes. Oh life is so hard for poor Miley, she can't decide to be rich girl or rich girl in a wig. Have you ever seen her in an interview? She's the definition of spoiled brat, trying to 'convince' us (which is actually just her grimacing at the camera, screaming American slurs and then 'giggling' which actually sounds like a drowning pigeon) to go and see her movie. Guess what it's called? 'Hannah Montana: The Movie'. Oh way to think outside the box, a movie about yourself. Who really and honestly can say that they give a shit about her life? If she becomes Miley Cyrus rather than Hannah Montana, how, exactly with that effect the world? Apart from a bunch of kids wanting brown rather than blonde hair. How can she have a sense of achievment if shes only there to entertain kids half her age, which by the way, is 16. 16 years old and she still has Daddy with his Kentucky Waterfall haircut writing her songs for her.
I did get a kick out of that interview she did about the Grammy awards. Apparently, she wanted to meet Radiohead backstage, but they wouldn't have any of that. Finally, someone taught her a lesson, I'm so glad it was Radiohead. They are now Gods. More on that in the future.

I would say she's a slut as well. But of course, she's celebate. It's a shame, because now no one can give her AIDS.

2. Censorship. This is another hate matter. It drives me to the brink of madness whenever I watch MTV these days. I remember distinctly watching MTV and Beetlebum by blur came on. I was estatic and turned up the volume, since it's so difficult to find decent music on any music channel these days. But when Alex James (my gawd he's gorgeous) goes to take a drag on his cigarette, his whole fecking hand is blurred. Is that completly necessary? I mean we're not retards, we can figure out whats he's doing. The clue? Well you see MTV, he exhaled smoke, so if we rule out the possiblilty of him being some sort of bass playing dragon, I think it's fairly obvious that he's smoking. Later on in the video, the drummer, Dave Rowntree pauses to take a sip of Coke from a can. Guess what? More blurrage (yes, I get the irony) Why? We're not going to run out and buy Coke just because blur's drummer does. If you think about it, we are more likely to notice the blurred object, rather than if they had just left it alone. What's more, MTV go beserk whenever someone takes a quick drag or drinks some coke, but swaggering about in a pair of knickers and a bra singing about sex and muffins is perfectly acceptable. Justin Timberlakes new video named 'Love Sex Magic' (or something similar) basically involves him and some skinny woman in a catsuit crawling over him. While she wags her arse in his face and wraps her tits round his legs he just completely ignores her and continues singing. So sure, censor things kids are going to witness every day of their lives, but leave the sluttish, impossibly toned twenty something to continue to embarrass the rest of the female popultaion and convince 13 year olds to do the same in their school discos.

3. Health and Safety. It's getting to the point of ridicule now. We MUST eat at least 5 portions of fruit or veg or we will get CHD and die BUT! We MUST NOT excede this too greatly otherwise we'll get acid erosion and all our teeth will fall out. The fate of H&S relies on the history of accidents. For example, some retard decides to use sissors to put on their eyeliner and they carve their eye out. By accident. So now everytime you buy a pair of sissors, they have 'Warning: Do not use to apply eyeliner' and you think, why the fuck would I do that? I'm not stupid, I know that sissors are sharp and they're for cutting things. It's kind of insulting that H&S would tihnk I'd be stupid enough to try that. My point is, our lives are controlled by the paranoia. The suspicion that the worst will always occur. Having a tan, for example, is desireable, but I recently read in a Glamour magazine: 'Tanning isn't pretty or clever', so we should just use fake tan and leave it at that. Because everyone knows that if you don't go out with sun cream, you will get skin cancer and die. You have been warned.

Wow so much for short and sweet. There is loads more, but right now I need to revse for my Biology, or at least to pretend to. Maybe I'll embed some more Likes & Dislikes in future posts. Peace out.