AAHHHHHHUHUHUHHGHH WATTHEFAK
WHY IS SO FUCKING HOT
WAT??
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IM MELTING
IM MEEEELTING *THROWS SELF IN RIVER* AHAHAHHA THIS IS WOULD BE EVEN WORSE IF I WAS FAT BUT IM NOT IM MORBIDLY OBESE SO ITS ALL GRAVY BABY
CANNOT THINK IN SENTENCES OR A LOGICAL MANNER BUT CAPS LOCK MAKES EVERYTHING HILARIOUS
POO
I BET YOU LAUGHED AT THAT DIDNT YOU DIRTY HO BAG
THE HELL WHY IS THE SUN SHINING THREW MY WINDOW FUCK OFF SUN YOUR KILLING THE PLANTS AND YOURE MAKING THE FLIES DELERIOUS
THANK THE MIGHTY JESUS A CLOUD HAS FREED ME FROM MY STATE OF FAGGOTRY
I feel kind of weird eating plants near other plants.
It's like they're watching me. Kind of sick really, eating something in front of something else.
How would you feel if a plant ate a human in front of you whilst you watched. Swaying powerlessly in the breeze.
I think you would feel pretty messed up is all I'm going to say.
Monday, 29 June 2009
To All You Human Beings With Working Brains
AND SO THE TRUTH COMES POURING OUT
GAWD
Today was a good day. I only had one lesson, which was biology (lame) and the rest of them were cancelled because of the bath university trip. Which I probably would have benefitted going on. Thing is, the course I want to do there requires three A's at A-Level. Which, my friend is not likely to happen. I will be ecstatic if I manage one A let alone three. If I do get three though, the shock may kill me. Which would be delightfully ironic.
This week I will most likey to be in an irritable mood seeing as on Friday I will be off to Hyde Park to see bur in concert. Words cannot describe my excitement. So I won't bother. Just picture me banging my fists on the keyboard and screaming. That's pretty much my mood constantly.
Was smacked with the reality today that I only have about £20 in my bank account. Which I will be withdrawing for the concert, bringing the total down to... Well ... Nothing.
What the fuck is this twilight fanatic??
Newsflash: it is shit, possibly the shittest. And I'm not just talking about books. It's just the shittest thng ever. That wasn't really a newsflash, it's not like it suddenly became crap. And that wasn't my opinion, here is the justification.
If you haven't read the book, then click on that link, your brain will thank you.
If you have read the book and hate it, click on that link and realise how right you are. Also be prepared to lol.
If you have read the book and loved it, click on that link, and realise what an idiot you are.
PEACE OUT LOSERS X
GAWD
Today was a good day. I only had one lesson, which was biology (lame) and the rest of them were cancelled because of the bath university trip. Which I probably would have benefitted going on. Thing is, the course I want to do there requires three A's at A-Level. Which, my friend is not likely to happen. I will be ecstatic if I manage one A let alone three. If I do get three though, the shock may kill me. Which would be delightfully ironic.
This week I will most likey to be in an irritable mood seeing as on Friday I will be off to Hyde Park to see bur in concert. Words cannot describe my excitement. So I won't bother. Just picture me banging my fists on the keyboard and screaming. That's pretty much my mood constantly.
Was smacked with the reality today that I only have about £20 in my bank account. Which I will be withdrawing for the concert, bringing the total down to... Well ... Nothing.
What the fuck is this twilight fanatic??
Newsflash: it is shit, possibly the shittest. And I'm not just talking about books. It's just the shittest thng ever. That wasn't really a newsflash, it's not like it suddenly became crap. And that wasn't my opinion, here is the justification.
If you haven't read the book, then click on that link, your brain will thank you.
If you have read the book and hate it, click on that link and realise how right you are. Also be prepared to lol.
If you have read the book and loved it, click on that link, and realise what an idiot you are.
PEACE OUT LOSERS X
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Running and Sparkles
So I started running. There's a bit of comedy for you.
It's actually really cool, so far I've only been twice, the first time felt like I was running towards some sort of bright light at the end of a tunnel...
Also I had to run through some long grass, but I got my foot caught on some loose roots or something, and I had to do that thing where you stagger forwards with your head about a foot off the ground to stop yourself doing a total face-plant.
It really was actually funny, I laughed at myself almost slapping to the ground.
For several minutes.
I ran roughly a mile, maybe a bit less. However when I got back home I was delerious and had some trouble with the strange plastic lever that turned out to be the front door handle. After solving the riddle of then closing the door I dragged myself upstairs and collapsed in a steaming pile on the floor of my bedroom. It was insane, I was so hot I could actually feel the blood pumping through me. Needless to say I slept like a log. A dead log.
In other news, me and my sister have started a new project called 'Screw You, Stephanie Meyer'. Because no, Mrs Crazy Lady, Vampires are not sparkily charming people with pwetty golden eyes and musical voices. They are ugly freaks with fuck off massive fangs, they're ripped with muscle and feral power, they don't lure you in with perfect appearences and sparkily nonsense, they just see you and hunt you down and rip your fucking throat out.
SAME WITH WEREWOLVES YOU TALENTLESS WENCH!
I'm glad that is out of my sytem.
It's actually really cool, so far I've only been twice, the first time felt like I was running towards some sort of bright light at the end of a tunnel...
Also I had to run through some long grass, but I got my foot caught on some loose roots or something, and I had to do that thing where you stagger forwards with your head about a foot off the ground to stop yourself doing a total face-plant.
It really was actually funny, I laughed at myself almost slapping to the ground.
For several minutes.
I ran roughly a mile, maybe a bit less. However when I got back home I was delerious and had some trouble with the strange plastic lever that turned out to be the front door handle. After solving the riddle of then closing the door I dragged myself upstairs and collapsed in a steaming pile on the floor of my bedroom. It was insane, I was so hot I could actually feel the blood pumping through me. Needless to say I slept like a log. A dead log.
In other news, me and my sister have started a new project called 'Screw You, Stephanie Meyer'. Because no, Mrs Crazy Lady, Vampires are not sparkily charming people with pwetty golden eyes and musical voices. They are ugly freaks with fuck off massive fangs, they're ripped with muscle and feral power, they don't lure you in with perfect appearences and sparkily nonsense, they just see you and hunt you down and rip your fucking throat out.
SAME WITH WEREWOLVES YOU TALENTLESS WENCH!
I'm glad that is out of my sytem.
Monday, 15 June 2009
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Nothing To Say Really...
I just thought I should post something seeing as I haven't in about forty years.
Of course that isn't true. But can you imagine life forty years from now? It's terrifying to think about. I will be 56. I wonder if I will be alone at 56. I wonder if I will still be into music.
I wonder if any of Radiohead would be dead.
Oh my gosh horrible, horrible.
the world would have surely gone completely bananas by then. I would imagine loads of ridiculous things would be illegal. Smoking will probably be illegal, running with sissors, not wearing a seatbelt on a roundabout... All of this, and probably more will all be illegal.
At least I will be too old to care. And all of the people I'm not so keen on e.g. Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, Lady Gaga etc. will be dead/dying/turning senile/hopelessly clinging onto D-List celebrity status.
I try not to think about the future. I just watch Fred.
Of course that isn't true. But can you imagine life forty years from now? It's terrifying to think about. I will be 56. I wonder if I will be alone at 56. I wonder if I will still be into music.
I wonder if any of Radiohead would be dead.
Oh my gosh horrible, horrible.
the world would have surely gone completely bananas by then. I would imagine loads of ridiculous things would be illegal. Smoking will probably be illegal, running with sissors, not wearing a seatbelt on a roundabout... All of this, and probably more will all be illegal.
At least I will be too old to care. And all of the people I'm not so keen on e.g. Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, Lady Gaga etc. will be dead/dying/turning senile/hopelessly clinging onto D-List celebrity status.
I try not to think about the future. I just watch Fred.
Monday, 8 June 2009
Sweet Dreams Please
Found out today that A-2 psychology involves researching sleep. Very happy about this, as sleep fascinates me. Dreams are also amazing things.
Here is a dream that is kind of weird, kind of cool but a bit rubbish that I had last night involving Radiohead. It was the kind of dream that I believed for a few hours after I woke up. Then I remembered that it was just a mind movie. Which left me kind of sad, but also releaved:
Just about everyone I know is crammed into a room which resembles some sort of classroom. There are also some shady teenagers at the back of the room, which I referred to as 'Cool Kids'. At the opposite end of the room to the Cool Kids, Radiohead are playing on a very small stage that is about 2 inches off the ground. I am the only one standing. I am also very, very close. Just as I become to feel extremely self conscious about this, my friend L says to me, 'Sit down you retard'.
Thom Yorke says, 'Yeah sit down, the Cool Kids can't see'.
Oh dear.
I sit down near the back by myself, some of the Cool Kids shake their heads at me. Once Radiohead finish playing, people start taking pictures of themselves nd the band members. Thom says to me 'Make yourself useful'. So I end up taking pictures of him and the Cool Kids.
At this point I feel sad, but also strangely happy.
Jonny Greenwood then comes over and says, 'Don't worry, he's always like this'
Phil Selway joins in, 'Yes, I remember once, Thom stole my spoon ... *long sigh*... I've never really forgiven him for that...'
Then I woke up in a cold sweat.
What could this mean???
Here is a dream that is kind of weird, kind of cool but a bit rubbish that I had last night involving Radiohead. It was the kind of dream that I believed for a few hours after I woke up. Then I remembered that it was just a mind movie. Which left me kind of sad, but also releaved:
Just about everyone I know is crammed into a room which resembles some sort of classroom. There are also some shady teenagers at the back of the room, which I referred to as 'Cool Kids'. At the opposite end of the room to the Cool Kids, Radiohead are playing on a very small stage that is about 2 inches off the ground. I am the only one standing. I am also very, very close. Just as I become to feel extremely self conscious about this, my friend L says to me, 'Sit down you retard'.
Thom Yorke says, 'Yeah sit down, the Cool Kids can't see'.
Oh dear.
I sit down near the back by myself, some of the Cool Kids shake their heads at me. Once Radiohead finish playing, people start taking pictures of themselves nd the band members. Thom says to me 'Make yourself useful'. So I end up taking pictures of him and the Cool Kids.
At this point I feel sad, but also strangely happy.
Jonny Greenwood then comes over and says, 'Don't worry, he's always like this'
Phil Selway joins in, 'Yes, I remember once, Thom stole my spoon ... *long sigh*... I've never really forgiven him for that...'
Then I woke up in a cold sweat.
What could this mean???
Sunday, 7 June 2009
You Are Going To Die
Just watched 'Jules et Jim'. I have to say although my opinion on French films is biased as I am unconditionally amazed by them, this film was absolutley incredible. The acting is superb, so much so that at one point I became so involved in the film I forgot that I was watching it, I felt like I was playing a role in thier lives.
So to all you idiots who cringe at the thought of films that aren't made for the flatheads of America, I suggest you open your tiny minds a fragment to european films. Yes you have to read subtitles, but don't worry, that doesn't mean you're watching a book. It's still a film, you won't be learning. If it bothers you that much you could always learn French. Or is learning another laguage to benefit your cultural knowlage blasphemy if you're a chav?
Moving onwards...
When I was nine, someone very close to me died. I found the last picture ever taken of her. I studied it for a few minutes. It's an incredibly spontaneous photograph, and I always end up wondering what she was thinking at that moment. I also looked for Hollywood death omens. You know, the typical cliched, maddeningly obvious ones:
Mr P: 'Wait! If you look very closely, (very closely being smack in the middle of the photograph)there appears to be a beam of light slicing his head off'
Jeff: 'Well Mr Photographer, that could easily be a fault in the developing'
Mr P: 'No Jeff, this picture....IS DIGITAL!'
*Dramatic music plz*
Anyway... The point is, there was absoloutley nothing. No death omens, no shadows in the shape of a knife, no big black doggie like in Harry Potter. There was a pack or cooking flour peaking out suspiciously behind her... But seeing as she didn't get attacked by a massive bag of flour, I think it's safe to overlook that detail. But then what did I expect? I was just curious. I've never really believed in the 'Deaths Plan' concept. I don't believe everyone has a time to die. I just think things happen, sometimes in great coincidence, and they can result in death.
And yes, you are going to die. But most likely in about 60 years time.
Have a nice rest of Sunday :)
So to all you idiots who cringe at the thought of films that aren't made for the flatheads of America, I suggest you open your tiny minds a fragment to european films. Yes you have to read subtitles, but don't worry, that doesn't mean you're watching a book. It's still a film, you won't be learning. If it bothers you that much you could always learn French. Or is learning another laguage to benefit your cultural knowlage blasphemy if you're a chav?
Moving onwards...
When I was nine, someone very close to me died. I found the last picture ever taken of her. I studied it for a few minutes. It's an incredibly spontaneous photograph, and I always end up wondering what she was thinking at that moment. I also looked for Hollywood death omens. You know, the typical cliched, maddeningly obvious ones:
Mr P: 'Wait! If you look very closely, (very closely being smack in the middle of the photograph)there appears to be a beam of light slicing his head off'
Jeff: 'Well Mr Photographer, that could easily be a fault in the developing'
Mr P: 'No Jeff, this picture....IS DIGITAL!'
*Dramatic music plz*
Anyway... The point is, there was absoloutley nothing. No death omens, no shadows in the shape of a knife, no big black doggie like in Harry Potter. There was a pack or cooking flour peaking out suspiciously behind her... But seeing as she didn't get attacked by a massive bag of flour, I think it's safe to overlook that detail. But then what did I expect? I was just curious. I've never really believed in the 'Deaths Plan' concept. I don't believe everyone has a time to die. I just think things happen, sometimes in great coincidence, and they can result in death.
And yes, you are going to die. But most likely in about 60 years time.
Have a nice rest of Sunday :)
Big Eye
Big Brother is watching you.
Yes I watch Big Brother. I can hear you judging. I find it interesting. Random strangers crammed into the same house for 13 weeks. No time to yourself unless you're in the shower or on the bog. It's nice to watch the blonde girls with big boobs slowly unravel.
Dad got me a present yesterday! Best present ever. No lie. Well, almost best present ever.
It's a DVD, but I won't tell you what it's of. My sister got a present aswell, the two most recent Maximum Ride books. They're awesome books, I read them when I was 13, but I haven't read the most recent one yet. So I might be inclined to yoink it from her.
I need a shower. Blog later.
Yes I watch Big Brother. I can hear you judging. I find it interesting. Random strangers crammed into the same house for 13 weeks. No time to yourself unless you're in the shower or on the bog. It's nice to watch the blonde girls with big boobs slowly unravel.
Dad got me a present yesterday! Best present ever. No lie. Well, almost best present ever.
It's a DVD, but I won't tell you what it's of. My sister got a present aswell, the two most recent Maximum Ride books. They're awesome books, I read them when I was 13, but I haven't read the most recent one yet. So I might be inclined to yoink it from her.
I need a shower. Blog later.
Friday, 5 June 2009
Nice Combination
Terrible Dad Joke #1: Camping in your room would be "in-tents" (intense)
Impossible Parent Question #1:
Q: How do you manage not to lock the front door when you go out?
A: Dunno, just forgot.
Q: No, that's not the answer, you can't 'forget' to lock the door. It's like forgetting to put your shoes on before you go out. It just doesn't happen.
How hilarious life is.
To more pressing matters, yesterday was a bunch of larks. Met up with dear friend J (who I need to give a more deserving nickname to) and her boyfriend who I suppose I have to call Mark. Witnessed duck rape in the kiddies park (which is probably just like normal sex to them) and named three cows (Sebastian, Clarence and Mayhew).
Afterwards we rode back to J's house on her Mum's bike. It's a lovely bike, and can seat two non-fat people quite comfortably. J is very talented in the pedalling department, although she very nearly crashed into a tractor while we were singing our number one hit re-make of 'A bicycle made for two'. Lyrics as follows:
Daisy, Daisy
Give me your answer do.
I'm half crazy
Because of my love for you.
It won't be a stylish marriage,
We can't afford a carriage.
But we'd look sweet,
Upon the seat,
Of a bicycle made for one-but-seating-two.
Get a look at that Miley Cyrus. Now you should be worried. Never mind bringing down Radiohead, what about us? Our movie is much more developed as well. I think it might be time for you to retire before you hurt yourself falling onto my fist.
Going back to J's today, I might bring my acoustic if I can find the case...
We gonna jam.
And we don't have any alcohol so I guess we will just have to get high off smoothies and Haribo. Probably the best thing seeing as last time we got drunk together we ended up back at college after hours. We also ended up replacing all of a friends gin and Vodka with water. And we all ended up crying hysterically before staggering off back home. Its the only way to live.
Impossible Parent Question #1:
Q: How do you manage not to lock the front door when you go out?
A: Dunno, just forgot.
Q: No, that's not the answer, you can't 'forget' to lock the door. It's like forgetting to put your shoes on before you go out. It just doesn't happen.
How hilarious life is.
To more pressing matters, yesterday was a bunch of larks. Met up with dear friend J (who I need to give a more deserving nickname to) and her boyfriend who I suppose I have to call Mark. Witnessed duck rape in the kiddies park (which is probably just like normal sex to them) and named three cows (Sebastian, Clarence and Mayhew).
Afterwards we rode back to J's house on her Mum's bike. It's a lovely bike, and can seat two non-fat people quite comfortably. J is very talented in the pedalling department, although she very nearly crashed into a tractor while we were singing our number one hit re-make of 'A bicycle made for two'. Lyrics as follows:
Daisy, Daisy
Give me your answer do.
I'm half crazy
Because of my love for you.
It won't be a stylish marriage,
We can't afford a carriage.
But we'd look sweet,
Upon the seat,
Of a bicycle made for one-but-seating-two.
Get a look at that Miley Cyrus. Now you should be worried. Never mind bringing down Radiohead, what about us? Our movie is much more developed as well. I think it might be time for you to retire before you hurt yourself falling onto my fist.
Going back to J's today, I might bring my acoustic if I can find the case...
We gonna jam.
And we don't have any alcohol so I guess we will just have to get high off smoothies and Haribo. Probably the best thing seeing as last time we got drunk together we ended up back at college after hours. We also ended up replacing all of a friends gin and Vodka with water. And we all ended up crying hysterically before staggering off back home. Its the only way to live.
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Dead Air Space
It was hot today.
The world is wonky, we had about a foot of snow in January and today I was practically crawling to my friend J's house. Plus we had to walk her dogs. It can't be fun being a fat black labrador today.
I'm finally free from the wrath of exams! That last Biology marathon though... Jesus, I could have had a siezure. Sitting in the same room in silence for three hours. I stared at most of the questions, hoping for some sort of epiphiny as to what the answer might be.
Or even what they were asking.
It's dead and gone now anyway, now I can look forward to more important matters. Such as going to see Blur in July (zomfg crazy fangirl moment) and going to the Lake District with my dear chumette J.
If anyone can tell me the meaning of the following phrase you get a Gold Star:
'Phoebe Io E lara Leda Callisto Sinope, Janus Dione Portia So Many Moons'
Also:
'Vega Capella Hadar Rigel Barnard's Star, Antares Aldebaran Altair Wolf 359'
These Gold Stars are not easy to comeby... And they are only virtual.
So far my blog has mainly been just a daily crap and venting matter. 'People' have been asking me why I don't include some sex in here. I'll tell you why. It's my blog. So screw you. If people want to create sexual fantasies then that is their own choice. I prefer the tasteful and more subtle side to erotica i.e. less of the 'she grabbed my throbbing cock and I immmediatley jizzed'. No further comments.
More fangirl annoyance:
If you like decent music, you probably like Radiohead. Unless you're my Dad. Go away Dad, no one likes you. And please stop singing 'Dani California' and 'Paranoid Android' at 6:30 in the morning.
Anyway
www.radiohead.com/deadairspace
I have trouble understanding what they're talking about most of the time. But I like to think it's due to the fact they are driven to insanity from all the entertaining. or maybe I'm just a retard.
Words can't express how much I love them. So I won't bother.
Don't worry Thom, I think they're beautiful too.
P.S. Me and J were watching 'The Weakest Link'. Annbott asked 'Who is the artist behind character "Tank Girl" and virtual band "Gorillaz"?'
I was super happy. It's Jamie Hewlett. If you didn't know that, go and buy some culture.
The world is wonky, we had about a foot of snow in January and today I was practically crawling to my friend J's house. Plus we had to walk her dogs. It can't be fun being a fat black labrador today.
I'm finally free from the wrath of exams! That last Biology marathon though... Jesus, I could have had a siezure. Sitting in the same room in silence for three hours. I stared at most of the questions, hoping for some sort of epiphiny as to what the answer might be.
Or even what they were asking.
It's dead and gone now anyway, now I can look forward to more important matters. Such as going to see Blur in July (zomfg crazy fangirl moment) and going to the Lake District with my dear chumette J.
If anyone can tell me the meaning of the following phrase you get a Gold Star:
'Phoebe Io E lara Leda Callisto Sinope, Janus Dione Portia So Many Moons'
Also:
'Vega Capella Hadar Rigel Barnard's Star, Antares Aldebaran Altair Wolf 359'
These Gold Stars are not easy to comeby... And they are only virtual.
So far my blog has mainly been just a daily crap and venting matter. 'People' have been asking me why I don't include some sex in here. I'll tell you why. It's my blog. So screw you. If people want to create sexual fantasies then that is their own choice. I prefer the tasteful and more subtle side to erotica i.e. less of the 'she grabbed my throbbing cock and I immmediatley jizzed'. No further comments.
More fangirl annoyance:
If you like decent music, you probably like Radiohead. Unless you're my Dad. Go away Dad, no one likes you. And please stop singing 'Dani California' and 'Paranoid Android' at 6:30 in the morning.
Anyway
www.radiohead.com/deadairspace
I have trouble understanding what they're talking about most of the time. But I like to think it's due to the fact they are driven to insanity from all the entertaining. or maybe I'm just a retard.
Words can't express how much I love them. So I won't bother.
Don't worry Thom, I think they're beautiful too.
P.S. Me and J were watching 'The Weakest Link'. Annbott asked 'Who is the artist behind character "Tank Girl" and virtual band "Gorillaz"?'
I was super happy. It's Jamie Hewlett. If you didn't know that, go and buy some culture.
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