A Curious Incident...

The last time I saw them was yesterday 'morning' (at about eleven thirty) when I was having my breakfast.

Today when I woke up and went downstairs, I opened the kitchen cupboard to find that they had mysteriously disappeared. Funnily enough, I thought it was odd, but dismissed it as a human error. After all, I had thought that they were full the last time I checked, but maybe I had been wrong.

A few hours later I went downstairs into the kitchen again to make lunch. My Step-mum was sitting at the table eating a banana. Immediately she asked me:

'Do you know where the Jaffa Cakes have gone?'

I told her that I didn't and that the same thought had been going through my head since yesterday morning when I'd last seen them, when there had appeared to be a full box, and about the mysterious disappearance this morning.

I could tell she didn't believe me. We discussed some pretty feeble theories.

'Maybe Dad took them to work?' (a whole box of Jaffa Cakes to work? Unlikely)

'Maybe your sister took them? Does she having cooking today?' (Woman, please. Do you hear yourself? Why the fuck would you need Jaffa Cakes for cooking?!)

'Do you think the dogs could have got at them?' (of course, if they had somehow learnt how to open the cupboard, reach in and grab the box without disturbing anything else, open the box, snaffle the Jaffas [and nothing else] and dispose of the evidence without anybody noticing the whole bizarre ordeal then yes, that is entirely plausible. You know, it's no wonder you're an estate agent)

I will of course be reporting back once I know more on the subject. But the whole thing is toeing that interesting and incredibly fine line of amusing and unspeakably horrifying.