You know what really grates my cheese...

Right now I am sitting on my bed pretending to do my Psychology homework.
I just got a text.
It says 'Lol drunk J text'

Isn't my life hilarious? No seriously, isn't it?

Anyway while I am sitting here (omg present tense) I am thinking about all the things that piss me off. Here is my list (in no particular order):

1. The phrase 'Lady Gaga plays piano'. How nice, Stevie Wonder has a secret hobby too: proffesional photography.
2. Adverts that try to be smart like 'why get something like a blabla when you can get a blabla?' Because Mr Smarty Man I don't want a 'blabla' I want a BLABLA!!!
3. Speaking of adverts, that Tescos advert about that married couple and their lovely life. Why is that man with that woman? She is not unattractive and he looks like a potato.
4. People who are like 'Oh no, I don't eat fish' or 'Oh I left my carrots because they make me sick'. Just shut up and eat your fucking carrots bitch.
5. People who don't drink, and then look at you like you've just licked a frog when you do.
6. When you see a really beautiful piece of art and when you show the art to someone else, they give a really retarded comment like, 'lol I can see that lady's boobie'.
7. When old relatives come over and they insist on asking you about universities and A-Levels. And nothing else.
8. However, I do like the number 8. Look at it. It's all squishy and cuddly.
9. Twilight fans. I mean the obsessive ones. The ones who would kiss a frosted windshield to see what it would be like to kiss Edward Cullen. If you want to know what kissing Edward Cullen is like, you should probably kiss a deep-frozen salmon.
10. People who, when you are first introduced to them, say 'Hello, I am Damien, and I'm a gay'. First off, you're not a gay, you are gay. Second, I don't give a shit.

Now excuse me while I go and bang my head against a wall for half an hour.
Peace and blessins.