'Do you think we're allowed to eat those sausages yet?'

OK....

So on Saturday, I went to this party.

That is pretty much all I can remember.

No, no of course not.

It was a surprise party for my friend's friend, neither me or J had any idea who she was, but we got to know her as the evening progressed and she turned out to be very lovely.

I think I'll rewind to the very start...
I got to J's at sixish with all my stuff. I tried to be nice to her very enthusiastic dogs who were jumping up at me. (Screw you dog, if you put a hole in these tights I will have to blind you with my mascara brush.)

J greeted me with, 'hi, you look cute... By which I which I mean slammin' (this is why I luff her) Then after a bit of ...

'Oooh try the Apple Sourz its lurvely, tastes like Hubba Bubba'
'I would if they hadn't spelt 'Sourz' with a 'z''
'Oh no dude we are wearing THE SAME SHIRT'
'Wow, awkward'

We finally left for the partay. It was a bit of a trek actually, we had to get a bus, and then walk for miles and miles (when you're in heels, one mile can be deferred to as 100 metres) and it incidentally, fucking freezing.

When we finally got there, there were A LOT of girls (and a lot of really nice shoes) a few boys and some old people. No, I don't know either. There was also a great abundance of sausages and cakes, as well as party poppers. It was actually smaller than I'd imagined, but still nice* and there was plenty of room to dance.
We did the hole 'SHH FUCKS SAKES SHE'S COMING SHUT UP' for about 15 minutes before she actually arrived. Then it was all socialising and drinks 'oooh I love your dress', 'oooh I love your shoes' etc (that is how girls meet other girls). I made a lot of facebook friends and people kept offering me various drinks, which I accepted because, you know, I didn't want to be rude and all that shit. In fact, I got so drunk I actually requested 'Just Dance' by Lady Gaga. I know right. I'm so embarrassed. I don't think it really matters anyway because you can't exactly jump around to Radiohead.

It was a very good night, and we stumbled back to our friend's house at about midnight. Where we opened a bottle of wkd, Vodka Schnapps and Smirnoff and watched Madagascar 2.

I woke up in the moring wearing someone elses T-Shirt and tights. Yup. Nope. I have no idea.
We then got dressed and watched 'Takeshi's Castle' which I have never watched before. Turns out it's the most hilarious thing ever. And not just on TV.

I am now quite confident that I can't drink half a bottle of three seperate drinks and maintain my dignity.
I am also quite confident that I called just about everyone in my phonebook, and also texted some people... Unfortunately my phone likes to delete all my sent items, so I have no idea who I sent what.

But if you do have a missed call or a text from me, just shake your head and delete it.

(*That's what she said)