Texts From Last Night

textsfromlastnight.com
When you're bored, go there. Here are a few samples:

(219): She said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'.

(484): I'm guessing you're the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster.

(650): Last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'

(516): I can't remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

(218): Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments.
(1-218): You know how I know you're gay?

(630): When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID, just muffins.

(402): She broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics.
(1-402): You deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.

(617): Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.

(303): Who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make.

You can't make that shit up.